Stop Taking Things Personally

Your ego can get in the way of many things. Many things.

It's what gives us that main character character feeling in life.

Most of the time, that's a great feature. You should romanticize existence and live the best life possible.

Yet, there are some situations where "main character brain" can get you in trouble.

For example, it will take a topic that has no relationship to you and make it entirely about yourself.

It also doesn't love when its main character has their flaws or choices criticized.

We all know someone who we tread lightly while talking to. That person who is easy to set off or send spiraling - maybe that person is even you.

That's not entirely that person's fault. Their ego is doing its job - protecting them and keeping them sitting as the king of their hill.

When our ego feels threatened, its first priority is to guard our seat at the top.

Though this function might have been useful many years ago, it doesn't serve a great purpose in today's world.

Instead, it awards the title of "short-fused" or "sensitive" (depending on how you act when threatened).

Here's the first step to keeping your ego in check: stop taking things personally.

I know, I know - easier said than done, but I cannot stress how much life will change after flipping this switch.

Let's dive in.

Everything is not about you

Even if someone is talking about you, they might not actually be talking about you.

People don't always know why they're feeling the way that they are.

Instead of honoring those emotions, they act out.

What they're feeling at their core gets expressed in an indirect way (and sometimes hurtful).

This isn't a reflection of you - even if they're talking about something they're upset with you about.

Keep in mind that each person has their own model created of you.

One person may think you're selfish, while another may think you're generous.

But neither of those may actually be you.

When you don't react to someone ridiculing or criticizing you, it's no longer a reflection of you.

It's a reflection of them.

Look for deeper meaning

Like mentioned above, many times the root of what someone is trying to express is not aligned with the words/actions they're using.

"You're selfish" could translate to "I"m not getting enough meaningful time with you."

"You're an asshole" could be "I haven't had my coffee yet this morning and I'm feeling irritable."

The translations could go on forever.

Stay calm and look at these situations from a step back.

Typically, meeting someone with love when they lash out stomps out their fire a bit.

This allows the space for you to take a peak into a deeper meaning together.

This process takes patience, self-awareness, and discipline.

Don't feel bad if you can't do this right away or all the time - it's difficult and unnatural.

Also, feel free to skip this part if it's a random person you will never see again - be on your merry way.

You are the one who truly knows yourself

Not caring about what others think is the ultimate form of self-love.

After all, no one knows or has access to your deepest parts except you.

Why would you allow someone's opinions of you to replace your own thoughts about yourself?

This applies to positive things as well.

If you're constantly cutting and gluing together a collage of other people's opinions to make up your view of your self, life will always be confusing.

You know who you are at your core.

I know that sticking to your sense of self is tricky when you may not be in love with yourself or have a hard time knowing "who you are."

But spoiler alert, I'll be touching on those topics in weeks to come so stick around ;)

Thank you so much for your time and energy today.

You are such a valuable human.

Until next time - with love,

Noah