Riding Life's Wave: 4 Ways To Be Okay Not Being In Control

I used to always get caught stuck in tunnel vision.

I had a plan for what I wanted and I was going to get it.

Boy was I naive.

Little 20 year old me thought he knew what was best.

I didn’t even know what I truly wanted.

Every time those plans wouldn't unfold the way I wanted, I would send myself into a spiral.

"Why is life out to get me?" or "Things never go my way."

Little did I know, all the road blocks and direction changes were actually guiding me to the path of my highest myself.

It might not seem like it, but I know this is the case for you too.

So how do you be cool letting go and having no idea what’s going on?

Let's dive in.

Ditch the victim mentality

Life is not out to get you.

I promise.

Life is not happening to you.

It is happening through you - for you.

Though, this can be difficult to see.

It's easy to fall into the victim mentality - especially with today's coddling society.

We're conditioned to think that this world is stacked against us and there's not a way out.

We must to do what we’re told to get through life - go to school, get a job, and live our lives when we retire.

For some, this might even manifest as learned helplessness.

There's a common theme with people that subscribe to those concepts though.

They live in misery.

And I don't blame them.

Feeling like you're trapped with no way out would be hell.

Maybe that’s you.

But you can flip that switch.

I did.

Despite what you might think, you get to decide what you believe in.

Your mindset impacts how the world develops in front of you.

If you see yourself as the victim, victim things will happen to you.

If you're constantly searching for opportunity and reasons to be happy, you'll find them.

Our perception is reality.

It's too detrimental to your self and the world to be dragged down by every little thing.

Zoom out

It's nearly everyone’s default to view situations moment by moment.

But you start to miss context when you do this.

Take a step back.

Life is a continuum.

It's not a bunch of little, random happenings that are completely separate from one another.

An event today might be a factor in another event next week- and so on.

Think about this - everything that will ever happen to you in this lifetime is developing alongside of you second by second.

And you can’t even see how or why they’re developing until the events unfold in front of you.

For example:

You could never know how breaking your leg might be benefiting you.

That is, until 30 years later when that time allowed you to start painting and now you have a successful career as an artist.

Everything is interconnected.

Nothing happens for no reason.

There are no one-off, random occurrences.

Life is a series of blocks building on top of each other.

And maybe you can’t see what’s being built until all the bricks are laid.

It's not easy to be patient, and it's not easy to think of longevity before you think of how you feel in the moment.

And that’s okay - be present with your emotions.

But I promise you that the universe is not steering you in the wrong direction or holding you back.

This is one big masterpiece that you’re working on.

Become a gymnast

Be flexible.

Carry on with your routine if there are mistakes or something unexpected happens.

Be willing to put your plans aside when the universe says no.

There are very few situations in life where everything will go exactly to plan.

You need to be okay with this.

Being set on controlling everything is a recipe for unhappiness.

These unforeseen detours might even be serving your higher self.

But that would be impossible to realize if you can't understand that your masterpiece in the works.

There are billions of things that happen every second.

It would be silly to think that every single one of them has gone to a human's plan/liking.

I believe that the universe pushes more situations that cause you to grow in the areas that you need it the most.

All the better if you’re not expecting it.

Flexibility, resilience, and adaptability.

Aligning with these values allows for a more free mind and body.

You'll spend less time with anger, sadness, and frustration.

Allow the universe do its thing

Surrender. Simply surrender.

Have you noticed when you let go of any expectations or outcomes, good things tend to happen?

And if something good didn't happen, you're not as upset because you don’t have an expectation?

Maybe that’s just me.

This is how I like to live my everyday life, though.

Accept that you do not actually know what is best in every moment.

Next time you're confused or upset about a door closing or choosing what step to take next, try this:

Look up to the sky and say, "what's next?"

I cannot tell you how many times that I've done this and how many times I was answered within a week.

Surrender and humility are powerful concepts.

You could ride life's wave for miles and not ever get bored.

That is, as long as you don't try to control it at all.

Otherwise, you'll feel how hard a wave can actually crash.

Well friends, that is it for today.

I know that when you apply these four principles, life will start to flow.

It's not easy, but it can be done and it's so worth it.

Thank you so much for reading.

I appreciate everyone who sees these words infinitely.

Again, if you know someone who could benefit from reading, please share this with them.

Until next time, with love,

Noah