Imagine that you're in the year 1000 BC.

You're happily settled in your farming and hunting village - everything is great.

But recently you've been hearing that people think you're a bit selfish.

They say that you've been taking a bit too much food for yourself and aren't leaving enough for everyone else.

You think, "well I am bigger than most of the tribe and I do a lot of work around here. I think I'm eating just enough."

You're a bit anxious about it, why does everyone seem to think the same?

You decided to have a chat with some of the higher ups in the village.

They said that they've heard that you've been stealing food.

Cue the heart drop.

Through a game of telephone, word of your food situation has made it to the higher-ups already - and in a twisted way.

Getting kicked out of the village would guarantee death.

There's no one you can call, no up-and-coming cities you can move to - you're done for.

Fastforward 3000 years and you're losing sleep about if that cute girl likes you or if everyone saw that zit on your forehead.

We've been programmed to care deeply about what other people think.

This feature was vital because it ensured our survival.

This is why these thoughts are so pressing when they arise.

Though, today it doesn't serve us as well.

There are ways to survive breaking up with a friend group or moving to a new city.

Yet the adaptation is still sucking away people's individualism.

Shaking the past

Knowing why you care about what others think sets you up to have an easier time with ceasing to care.

You can think rationally think of why you're thinking the way you are.

Even today, we're constantly fed stories and rules about how we should act or what we should do.

The Declaration of Independence, the Bible, the Qur'an, etc. all tell people how they should live their lives - and you're wrong if you live differently.

We find it easy to follow along with these since we're exposed to them from the moment we open our eyes.

Remember that rules don't exist in raw nature - every single one of them is from another human's mind.

I tell you this because as easily as a rule is created up, it can be disregarded.

Easier said than done, but knowing is step one.

Speaking of step one, let's get into how to not give a fuck about what others think.

1. Identify your values

This is how you lay the ground work.

You may even find that this help you live a more authentic life as a whole.

Knowing what values you honor at your deepest core is crucial to living your truest life.

I like to think of these as your pillars of life.

Every action that you make throughout the day should align with these pillars, and every action evaluated through them.

I'll bet that most people haven't actually written down their deepest values before.

So we're going to.

This in exercise the I got from The Aligned Self Podcast (episode linked at the end) that helped me out in this phase.

Get yourself a stack of 10-20 note cards.

You're going to write your the values that matter most to you on the cards - one per card.

Next, put them in order of most to least important to you.

Remember there are no correct answers.

When you're done with that, take some time to define what each of these values means to you.

I've found that the simpler the definition, the easier it is to live through it.

You now have a set of values that will help guide you and keep you true to yourself.

Sticking to your pillars will let you assess if you're living your authentic self.

If you're living authentically yourself, who cares what anyone thinks?

But just because you've identified your values, it doesn't mean we're done there.

2. Mindfulness

A great way to know if you're always living your values is keeping your head in the present moment at all times.

In a world full of distractions and excuses, this can be difficult.

But don't you worry - there's a way that we can practice.

Meditation.

(I'm always get so excited to talk about meditation).

You don't have to sit for an hour a day or even half an hour.

All you need is 10 minutes.

(There is data to show that the longer you meditate, the better, but 10 minutes is where the benefits start kicking in).

This 10 minute session will be where you start to cultivate the awareness of what is going on in your body and mind.

Being in the now comes as a by-product.

I typically follow with this with many one-off deep breathes throughout the day.

I use these to check in with myself, notice anything that might be off, and realign.

If you're starting from zero experience, I've put a link to a 7-day trial of my favorite meditation app yet.

I have no affiliation or anything - the app is awesome and recommend it to anyone starting out.

3. Push your boundaries

Alright - so we know what our deepest values are and we know how to track the moment.

Now it's time to jump on the highway to not giving a fuck about what others think.

Even after you take the first two steps, that doesn't magically take away the worry someone is going to judge you.

But you know when you shouldn't worry about anyone's opinion.

Start to live out you values as big as you can.

If kindness is one of your pillars, but talking to people scares you start saying kind things to random people.

Start small - one or two people the first day, then build your way up.

It's easy to be comfortable not doing things that scare you because someone might judge you for it.

It's much more rewarding taking the chance on something that scares you, but aligns with your deepest self.

After pushing the boundaries, you find it second-nature to do things that align with your life pillars.

You know that what your doing is true to you, so how could anyone else's opinion matter to you?

Well, that is all for today.

I'm so grateful for you 18 people that are reading this in your inbox - thank you.

If you found this valuable, I would appreciate if you shared with someone who needs to hear that same message.

Until next week, with love,

Noah

Link to meditation app: https://www.wakingup.com/

Link to The Aligned Self Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3dQt9E963RrhCiprOVT2RO?si=nN_43EmTR6iwUaNShz03SQ&dd=1