lessons from a reformed sad boi

Definition of sad boi:

One who is often upset by things in the world. Often questions what life has for them and talks about things and why they are what they are. Little details can often make their day or break them. Most times aren't exactly happy with life, but not enough to do anything about it. Though really its not hard to get them in a good mood and simply aren't depressed.

I may have found this on Urban Dictionary, but that nailed 20 year-old me to the t.

Five years ago, you could find me in my room wallowing about how unfair the world was and thinking my own way into spirals.

I was committed to the part too.

I was making sure my Instagram followers knew that I was a sad boi, I forced myself to be sad and act uninterested.

Anything to make sure that I fit the role (more on that here).

Looking back at that time, I realize how easy it is to become overwhelmed by this world.

I mean, everything is literally begging for your attention.

The news, the newest trends, social media, etc.

It's easy to get sucked into everything and not know how to get out.

We are just acting as we were raised to, with little insight into how to navigate this world mindfully.

In this world, a sad boi is just one of the archetypes that are available out there.

But they all point back to one thing.

The modern citizen

The modern citizen believes that outside reality is more important than inside reality.

- What do people on social media think? > What do I think?

- What is the summer trend? > What do I want to wear?

- I'll buy this to make me happy > I'll find happiness within.

This cycle is the norm for most people.

You're disconnected if you don't watch the news.

You're screwed if you don't get a 9-5 and save for retirement at 65.

The modern citizen is meant to take on the unpredictable waves of society.

This leads to an unhappy person who isn't living how they really want to - just how they feel they should.

Happiness is a chase. The moments and things they collect create it.

They can never get enough to keep their tank full.

The dangers of being a modern citizen

The modern flow will chew you up and spit you out.

You can't help but be upset by the tragedies that are shown on the news, and the fact that you can't track down a pair of those new shoes.

The game is designed to keep you hooked.

It boils down to dopamine and belonging.

When you try to jump ship, you feel like shit.

It's easy to live in the modern world of novelty. That's what makes it so enticing in the first place - what keeps you coming back for more.

Most don't realize it, but the cost of being a modern citizen is freedom.

They will always be at the whim of the next wave that comes their way.

Most of them do not know that they can simply watch the waves instead of letting themselves get battered.

Lessons from a reformed sad boi

There is an alternative to being a modern citizen, but that's not talked about too often.

You don't have to be at the mercy of the outside world.

Once I realized these things, my life changed forever.

These are three of my biggest realizations.

Let's dive in.

Internal wars vs. external wars

Many, if not all, external wars are simply projections of internal wars.

We've heard it a million times, but hurt people hurt people.

It's the dead truth.

When we're at war with our own minds and bodies, that manifests physically.

Think about the Tik Tokkers walking into random people's houses.

They're at war with worthiness and want attention.

Think of the person who gets upset when something doesn't go their way.

They're at war with the need for control.

When our ego feels threatened, our brains will always find a way to protect us and make us feel better.

The only problem is that the ego's idea of protection is usually much more extreme or hurtful than it needs to be.

These are not justifications, but the root illnesses that are causing the symptoms.

Someone who has won their internal war is the most important kind of person on this planet.

Others hate and fear them, because this person has stillness inside that they wish to replicate.

But the victor pushes forward the healing narrative and sets an example the healing is possible.

You're responsible for your own house

Building your own house isn't a privilege - it's a necessity.

Do not let anyone else construct it for you.

You choose what the walls look like, how tall they are, and what they're made out of.

Your entire inner landscape is cultivated by you.

That's important because the way you build your house will determine how you interact with the world outside.

You could build a house out of steel, with no windows, and ten dead bolts on the door. But that wouldn't be fun because you would never see anyone or anything again.

You could find a nice hill to put all of your things on and leave it at that. But the lack of walls might invite people to take things that you're not willing to give.

See where I'm going here?

What happens outside of our bodies has no impact on the way our consciousness exists - unless you allow it to.

We preside over our internal worlds.

Only you can take your inner freedom away from yourself.

Houses can always be modified, just as you can change the way that you think.

The energy of keeping up a facade

We will do anything to maintain our identity.

Like I mentioned earlier, there were times I would literally force myself to be sad to make sure I fit my persona.

Let me tell you, trying to stay the same takes a hell of a lot more energy than changing.

Forcing low vibration moods creates so much entropy within us.

You're also suppressing your true nature and feelings, disconnecting further from yourself.

10 out of 10 times, it's simply not worth it.

Let yourself be who you are.

Any less is disrespectful to yourself and the rest of the world.

That’s all, my friend. Thank you so much for taking the time to read.

Until next time, with love,

Noah